Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
