Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
