I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just found puke in my bra..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
