If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
