I smell stomach acid.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
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