Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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