tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
