Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
