i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize