Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Come on in and take your pants off
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