vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
