Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
