maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
