I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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