shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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