When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
