During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
