I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
