Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
