it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
