Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
