Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
