is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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