I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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