Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
