Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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