what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
