the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
