Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
