Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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