You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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