Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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