Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
