Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
