Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize