It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize