My cat gives me a boner
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
