No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
