is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How drunk are you?
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