I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
