I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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