he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
