Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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