you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
