capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Someone came in the potted fern
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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