he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
