Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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