Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
