haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
