Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
