I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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