She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
