Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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