Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
