i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize