it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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