i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
