If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
