I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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