Please don't use social media to get back at me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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