Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
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