physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
