His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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