she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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